Definitely getting older by the day. I can feel it.
The past two years have been a roller coaster ride of sorts for me. I graduated with an MBA from a top U.S b-school and went on an insane hunt for a job. Humiliated, demoralized, defeated and almost died. I rose from the ashes to eventually land a decent job that doesn't pay as well as I thought it should. Well, better a job than nothing, right? Wrong but more on that later. 2014 was a challenging year on so many fronts -- personal, family and professional. At times, it seemed as though the world was collapsing just on me and me alone. I didn't know what to expect; I thought I would fall into depression. And to make things worse, I was broke and saddled with a huge debt (USD90,000) from my MBA education in the U.S. Tough like hell before 2015 came along...with a job in tow. I took that offer knowing that it wasn't particularly in line with what I was looking for but hey, it didn't turn out that bad. At the every least, it was a great startup that managed to get itself into mainstream media for all stories bad and good. I traveled the most ever with this job and managed to get some folks envious. Despite all of the job perks, I struggled with the pay, a dysfunctional family, a broken social life and a nagging worry about what's going to my future.
Today's January 2nd, 2015 as I sat down to pen down my thoughts on what I see myself doing in the days to come. Over the holidays, I picked up Scott Adams's book on
"How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big". Two big ideas stuck -- 1) Our job is not our job; our job really is to find a better job 2) One should always have a system instead of a goal because goal-oriented people exist in a state of nearly continuous failure that they hope will be temporary. I've never thought this way before. Simple but pretty revolutionary ideas. As I march on to the big 40, I want to put in a place a system that can hopefully make the years before hitting the 4-0 sweeter than those years before I turned 30. Here's my system:
1. Own my life and my time. By this I mean not giving a damn effing sh*t to what others think about what I do. I'm fully responsible for my own life and I can't let it go. The moment I do, others will take over and plan my day for me. Never allow yourself to fall into this situation, ever.
2. Don't be scared. I was born into a pretty poor and broken family. Everyone says that they are poor but really? Well, my dad brought me to the airport to ask for money from strangers when my family just couldn't afford the extra penny to be donated to my school; my brothers and I had to share a Filet-O-Fish burger from McDonald's because we couldn't afford to get one burger for each person; I was always wondering at the young age of 13 how I was going to pay for my school tuition. Was I really poor? You bet. I grew up introverted and scared of the world in general. But as I became older, I also realized that my fear holds me back and pushed me deeper into the dark recesses of poverty and destitution. I'd want fear to push me to achieve greater heights and down deeper and darker. I commit to myself to never be scared again. Break things. Speak up. Do it.
3. Count my blessings. I may be dealt the life tree of lemons but I did manage to munch on some cherries that some lovely folks brought to me. Let' see -- I got a job (though I may not like it that much), the opportunity to travel (San Francisco, Chicago, Paris, Bali, Bangkok, Phuket, Berlin, Spain, London), meet with some really nice people and some spare change to buy my favorite sweets.
4. Just say no. Mr Congeniality. Nay, this ain't even remotely close to a title like Mr. Universe. So why the heck do so many people want to be nice and agree to do things that simply suck the life outta of 'em? Saying yes to something you dislike or to someone you despise brings negative energy. Deep inside, you actually feel horrible for nodding to that request. Reclaim your dignity, say no and you will thank yourself for it. This year and the years forward, I'm going to be saying no a million times more often than yes.
5. Travel and meet people. Hang around with like-minded people. If you want to be an entrepreneur, meet and mix around with entrepreneurs. Don't be a recluse. You're an introvert? So am I. But hey, if you're mixing with people who think like you, it's gonna be so much less intimidating to hang with folks who share a common passion. Want to transform your life? Want to change the world? Well, go meet with folks who have similar goals. You can be a sociable introvert -- and this is exactly what I wanna be.
6. Career. I may be working for the best employer in the U.S., but hey, who's to say that I will be employed tomorrow when I wake up? And what about that USD90,000 loan? At the current rate, I'd be debt-free only when I hit 5-0. Holy cow! And if I am fired tomorrow? You get the point and this is why I love Scott Adams's idea that we should always be on the lookout for our next job. Your job is not your career unless you're madly in love with it that it reciprocates with money and even more future opportunities. So, make it your business to always be looking for a career that fires you up so much that you will never ever want to do anything else. It's only possible if you never stop looking.
7. Fitness. The MBA program combined with the late-night binging and lack of exercise meant an accumulation of fats and a bulging tummy. I can't sit down these days without some loose fat hanging over my belt and that's just annoying and ugly. I may never be able to attain the chiseled abs and well defined bodies of models but I think if I aim high enough, I believe I can get there. I literally spent the last 14 days in beast mode and thoroughly enjoyed busting those fats at the gym and outside. Cardio never felt this good baby! I hit close to 100km -- and you know what, I am going to crosse the 10KM mark this evening. Being fit and leans helps me move faster and build confidence. What's there not to like? The motivation is there and I will never want to stop moving.
8. Home. I have been sleeping on a floor mattress since the day I was born. I get a bed to myself only when I'm out traveling or overseas for work etc. How ironic this is. And you know what? I sleep in the living room. Absolutely no privacy. I feel like I could do so much more if I had a space to myself and this year, I wanna work my ass off to get the sh*t out of this house. I want a space to call my own and do my own thing. Without a decent living space, it's just draining to have to deal with all the inconveniences that come with a shared room. Considering my low salary and high debt, this seems to be moonshot but that's also the reason for why I want to put this out here -- we hold each other accountable for our achievements.
Writing this blog post today makes me feel a ton better and thanks for reading. Turning a year older and moving into 2016 ain't all that bad afterall. Perhaps you're in a similar quandary yourself and if so, do drop me a note -- let me know what's bothering you and how you plan to deal with it.
Let's make each day count. Make your own opportunity and destiny. Own it.
