Didn't expect myself to put up another blog post so soon.
Today, my mother went ballistic again. I did mention in my earlier blog posts that I live in a dysfunctional family and I'm not exaggerating. Oftentimes, people will say that you can choose how you react to certain situations and I'm somewhat comforted by the fact that I have a blog where I can freely let my thoughts flow. Better than nothing I guess.
Growing up in an environment without love, I've always wondered how it's like to be in a family where everyone lives in peace and harmony. My mother has kinda been both the good and bad guy -- she is the one who holds the entire family together and she is also the one who, through her wild mood swings and insanity, broke the family up and strained all the relationships within this household. I have never really had a complete family -- and I crave for one.
There were days I wish my parents were gone. I know this may sound terribly unfillial but when you live in an environment where the parents are constantly fighting (both verbally and physically) and you can't escape, you will find yourself wishing death upon 'em. You wanna set yourself free from the shackles of a highly negative environment, which is filled with screaming, shouting, fighting, cursing and tears. You don't want to be in a family where your mother is always praising your brothers and putting you down. You don't want to be discouraged by your mother telling you that you're ugly and good-for-nothing.
This year, I resolve to move out of this house, to find a place which I can call my own. Will I succeed? How am I going to do it despite my lack of financial resources? Will there be a miracle? I don't know but I'm going to do my darn best to move to a place where I can finally find some peace of mind and be able to truly focus on what matters to me most.
I can and will do it. 2016 is the year of action.
Are you in a similar situation? Share in the comments section below. Writing out your thoughts helps. Hugs!
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