Control vs. autonomy

I've always been intrigued by the idea of work autonomy and a related concept -- work from home. This is a topic that has gained popularity in recent years as the rise of the millennial generation (and their desire for space and freedom) behooves enterprises around the world to review the way they function and how they engage the millennial workforce in the office. It is therefore not unheard of for companies to allow employees to work from home, so long as employees can get their work done and stay productive. I believe that many a parent have benefited from the flexibility of being able to work from home on days when they need to. 

While I certainly don't qualify as part of the millennial generation, I do work for a company (a multi billion unicorn startup) that allegedly boasts innovative hiring and talent management practices. You might already have noticed the word in italic "allegedly". Yes it actually is not as forward thinking as it makes itself out to be. Case in point -- I applied for the option to be able to work from home one day a week and was turned down, by both the HR department and my director. I was not the least miffed about the outcome but what got my goat was how double standards seemed to be applied across the company and of how conservative and traditional this company is. I know of folks who were working from home and have witnessed how laissez-faire senior managers of the company are with the resource of the company whenever they travel. To turn down my application to work from home on a day of a week (when I could afford it) seems ludicrous in the face of how many others are constantly abusing the freedom that's bestowed on the employees. 

Let's come back to the topic of working from home. While there are arguments to be made against and for this practice, I'm a huge believer in results rather than office presence i.e. I am partial to having someone deliver strong results than in having someone clock the hours and not produce results for a few reasons:

1. Empowerment

Action speaks volume. How leaders behave sends clear signals to employees. By empowering someone with the ability to work from anywhere (including from home) on the condition that results are delivered, that manager shows that they truly believe in empowering employees to do what's best for themselves, which brings me to the next point on culture.

2. Culture 

Culture is the glue that keeps a company together and the fuel that turbocharges a company's performance. A company with a great culture is a safe environment where there is implicit trust within the team. Allowing an employee to work from home, amongst other things that a company does, sends this signal to the team -- that your manager trusts you and has your interests at heart. There's no better way to get an employee to dedicate their best efforts to you. 

3. Results-centric 

For all the talk about being results-centric, my company obviously did not quite make the mark. A truly results-focused company believes in doing what's best to help the team and the company hit that bullseye. It could be something as simple as allowing staff to work remotely, or bringing in additional help to enhance the capabilities of the team. Anything really, that can get the team safely and together across the finishing line at the end of the period. By tying performance to results, rather than to number of physical hours in the office, the manager is cultivating a bottomline-driven, results-focused team.  In a world as competitive and dynamic as ours, a performance-driven culture is the basic building block to achieving pole position and gaining an edge above the competition. If permitting my team to work from home has the salubrious effect of instilling that mindset of excellence, I'm more than happy to offer it, anytime. 

If I do have my own company one day, I'd be sure to remind myself of what I said above -- and walk the walk and talk the talk by enabling and empowering my staff to work from home, for at least once a week. Far beyond just the positive benefits listed above, I believe that time away from the office also allows for more creative and strategic thinking, which can only take the company even further. Really, what's there not to like? :) 

February 14 - The day I completely lost my love for my job (and rekindle my passion for life)

Of all days, it has to be that day - February 14th, Valentine's Day. It was a poignant day. What was meant to be a day of celebration of all things fuzzy and loving turned out to be a heartaching, heart-breaking moment for me. I knew that my relationship with this company had come to an end, right on Valentine's Day. 

If you have been following my blog posts, you probably would have realized that I'm a hapless citizen of this world. Try as I might, at a mature age of 37 (going on 38), I really don't have anything to my name. Have I started a company? No. Am I married? No. Do I have a happy family? No. Do I have savings? Not much. Am I saddled with debt? Yes, and 63,000 USD of it. While I am cognizant of the need to constantly be appreciative and thankful for what I have, such as a relatively healthy body, a job that pays average salary and some awesome colleagues, I really don't think I have anything that's noteworthy or something that I'd look back ten years later with a smile of pride. Pretty pathetic you might say -- and that is the story of my life. I actually am worried if I would have enough for when I am old and haggard. If you're like me, I certainly hope that my story makes you realize that you're not alone; that no matter what you did or tried, success just evades you and you only. Luck is rarely on my side (and yours too if you were nodding your head earlier). 

Anyways, back to my career situation, which is seriously in dire straits no matter how you look at it. I am getting about 5,000 USD a month -- and I got an MBA. I did a reflection post on why I should leave my job and as I reviewed that article, I was struck by how every single point still resonates deeply within me today. Truth be told, I actually bore some hope that things would change for the better after I put out that article -- alas, my wish did not come true. My manager is still the same -- defensive, weak, inarticulate, inept and dumb. These are qualities that can't be changed overnight and it was indeed wishful thinking on my part that things would even improve! 

So here I am, contemplating a job switch. Over the past few weeks, I saw a few jobs that I liked, but at the same time, I was not quite sure if I were up to it. It was at this point that I came across a video of Marissa Mayer (the current CEO of Yahoo!) who, in a Stanford Graduate Business school interview, exhorted the audience to always look for the smartest folks to work with and be in something that makes us feel a little comfortable (in business world parlance, step outside our comfort zone). This quickly made me cotton on to the fact that I should summon my courage and apply to jobs that are a few grades above my current payscale. Do I have the experience? Perhaps. Will the company want me? Perhaps. Will I be successful? Perhaps. And is there a chance that I might fail? Maybe! Life is really meant to be lived taking chances and a sum of our success net our failures. If I don't embrace the probability of failure, then I will never be able to bask in the probable success either. Such is life and its peculiarities. 

I never like to end my blog post on a negative tone, and I really like how I am able - through writing - sort out my thoughts and all of the ostensibly confusing mind meandering...the "what-if"s, "should-if"s and "could-if"s. That's just the dark side of the mind, or the defensive nature of self, to discourage us from jumping into the unknown or leaping into untested waters. As Liz Gilbert so aptly said in her book, Big Magic, we could let fear join us in our life's journey but we should never fear be the driver. How true. 

Extremely dejected that my career has not quite panned out the way it should and I don't see it changing the way I would like it to. Valentine's Day marks the end of my time with this unicorn startup - and the beginning of bigger, better things to come. Let there be light in our lives and let us promise ourselves to live a life larger than our fears and build dreams and not nightmares. 

Please leave me a note at the end of my blog post if you like what I wrote or have suggestions and comments. Thank you! 

Happy birthday...and my purpose in life

August 2nd, 1979. That's the day I was born! Unknowingly, it has been 37 years since, and today marks the start of my journey towards my 38th birthday. 

It was an eerily quiet day. My mom has completely forgotten that it's my birthday; my siblings couldn't be bothered; my friends didn't say a thing. My dad, despite being very advanced in age, surprisingly muttered a "Oh it's your birthday today, right?". Yea for sure it is. Well, thank you dad for being the one and only one to have remembered my birthday in this world :)  

Looking back at the past 37 years, I wouldn't dare say that I have left an indelible mark on this world and lived life as gloriously and bravely as I thought I would. For some reason, things didn't quite seem to go my way and life appeared pretty bleak at some point. 

I am currently working for one of the hottest "startups" in the world but I am unhappy. Fresh out of my MBA program not too long ago, I remember clearly during the interview that I said, "I don't care about the job title. All I want is a role where I can make an impact." Fast forward two years, I think I actually did have an impact in my role but it was, alas, disregarded -- and nothing can be a clearer indicator than the comments that I received during my performance appraisal last Friday. 

Going into the appraisal, I knew that the higher my expectations, the more disappointed I would be if reality turned out otherwise. True to my prediction, I was slammed with a "you met expectations" grading. An average grade? I was stunned but my manager did a great job of managing my expectations with a candid, word-by-word sharing of what others had said about me. For the first time in my life, I received comments such as, "arrogant", "off-putting" -- adjectives that I will never ever use on anyone but was surprised to have received them myself. I told my manager that I was both surprised and not surprised. The former because I didn't expect my actions to be construed as such and to be received such harsh comments that seemed like a personal attack on my character; the latter because I knew that my intensity at work - my go-getter character, forthrightness and goal-oriented self - was starkly different from the attitude of many of my colleagues. Perception is reality but was I really that much of a jerk? Wow, what a nasty revelation. 

For the rest of the day and over the weekend, I pondered over the comments I received and was trying to make sense of why it hurt so much. Receiving an average appraisal was surprisingly not the reason; rather, it was the rationale for why I received that rating that hurt me so bad. For one, I was evaluated to be subpar on my ability to "build relationships with folks in the office" and this metric carries a 50% weight. In layman's terms, I simply didn't know how to play politics and did a terrible job brown-nosing senior management. So what if I exceeded my target? So what if I were the only one on the team to have exceeded my target well within budget? So what if I had devised a program to structure my thinking and guide my execution? All these only and merely account for 50% of my overall assessment. What shocked me more was how my manager even said that they would also rate a worker's performance as average had they failed to meet targets but performed well in building relationships. How's that for building a business that's performance driven and target-focused? I was aghast, bemused and confused. Was this the deal I signed myself up for and the company in which I hoped to be able to make in impact in? What good was the impact if the recognition was missing? 

I certainly hope few people in this world come across such situations but I know it's happening on a daily basis. Performance reviews by humans are subjective by nature unless the company makes a conscious decision to abide strictly by the rules it has set for itself, that employees' performance will be judge solely on pre-agreed metrics and targets. For folks who may not be as well in building relationships with folks in the office, they don't necessarily have to be marked down. Rather, it simply means that they should take on a different career path; to ignore their hardwork and sterling achievement is just wrong. You never want to promote a person who is only good at politics but bad at delivering against targets. That's a sure road to failure. 

Dejected, I found myself in the library on a Friday night and I chanced upon a book by Clayton Christensen, "How will you measure your life?". It totally changed my perspective on life and brought so much joy to my heart. It was such an inspiring, enlightening and empowering read. In areas where I failed to have clarity before, I gained a new understanding; in areas where I was constantly searching for answers, I found a way to get my answers. More importantly, it helped me wrap my head around this question -- what's my purpose in life. 

Without going into the specifics, I would broadly list down for my own reference the wisdom of gold that was clearly elucidated in the book:

A) Before taking on a new role, be sure to answer these questions and not jump at it because it pays well. 

1. Is this work meaningful to me? 
2. Is this job going to give me a chance to develop? 
3. Am I going to learn new things? 
4. Will I have an opportunity for recognition and achievement? 
5. Am I going to be given responsibility? 

Credits to Clayton Christensen for putting out those questions. I knew that deep in my heart, my passion for this company has long been doused -- and my performance appraisal only serves to confirm that. Those questions will now serve to guide me through my next career switch. And if you were able to positively answer all of the above questions, you're well on your way to a happy, fulfilling career. 

B) Finding your purpose in life

The next big idea he shared centered around the the "purpose of life" and how we should go about searching for our purpose in life. He likened this to drawing and said that it is nothing but a simple 3-step process:

1. Distill the likeness of what we would like to be (the rough form of what you'd envision you to become)
• A man dedicated to helping others around me
• A kind, honest, forgiving and selfless being
2. Becoming committed
• It is one thing to have aspirational qualities written down but another to be deeply committed to those qualities that will serve our priorities and actions on a daily basis
• Never waver. "It’s easier to hold on to your principles 100 percent of the time than it is to hold on to 98% of the time; once you have justified doing it once, there’s nothing to stop you doing it again." 
3. Finding the right metric
• For him, it's simply the number of individuals he was able to help. 

Clayton took a very structured and rational approach to figuring out what his purpose in life was and once he got it all nailed down, he was very strategic and thoughtful in the way he approached his every day life. Perhaps I needed it but reading his book (which I completed in two days) lifted me out of my doldrums and depression. It's the medicine I was looking for and I was glad that I found it on my birthday. 

So, Happy Birthday to my 37 year old self. Plucking out my wisdom tooth on Sunday (July 31st) wasn't that bad (it gave me five days of rest) and if anything, it freed me from work and gave me one of the best birthdays I've ever had, even if the whole world has all but forgotten about me. Knowing how to really live a life that I want and one that will make me happy is the best gift ever! :) 

When is it time to leave your current job?

The past one week has been nothing short of frustrating, exasperating and demoralizing. It's got to do with the accursed four-letter word: W.O.R.K. 

I've been stuck in a rut for the longest time and taking on my current role wasn't exactly the way out of the rut; in fact, it might just get me more deeply entrenched. I've also felt that this is not the role or the people that I want to work in or with, and this feeling became really strong over the past one week. 

As you can probably tell, I'm at a decision crossroads -- should I stay or should I leave? Well, to help clarify my thoughts, I've decided to just write down the reasons for why I should leave, and for that matter, why this would matter to anyone else who is in a similar quandary. 

1. The markets you're responsible for. If the markets you handle are not top of the company's business plans, then it's probably a sign of your importance (or lack thereof). Staying on can only mean limited budget, limited opportunities and limited prospects. Why would you want to be the one to manage markets that the company doesn't quite value? 

2. Budget. Ah, yes. I have a decent budget of about 40K the past financial year; this year, my budget was dramatically slashed to a quarter of what I had last year. When I shared this with a colleague, her response was, "Wow, is this a way the company is telling you to go without firing you?". Wise observation indeed. Yes, if your budget has been cut while others are getting more, then it's crystal clear that what you do isn't quite important, if it's even important in the first place. 

3. Manager. I've read an article before that says, "Good people don't leave companies; they leave managers." Spot-on. My manager isn't supportive of me. He got promoted though he didn't have the leadership skills to effectively manage, lead and inspire a team. While he doesn't micro-manage (which would have made the job unbearable!), he was too ready to acquiesce to others while pushing his team to do more, and more, even to the extent of taking on some other people's work. If your manager is making life more difficult for you, then you'd do better to leave and hope that your next manager is truly the dream manager. No point hanging around hoping that your manager will change. Dream on -- it ain't happening. 

4. Prospects. So look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself -- if you're let go today, would companies out there be looking to quickly bring you onboard? If you hesitated for a second, the answer probably is no. C'mon, if you're in high demand, you'd be poached. The fact that you need to think means that you prolly haven't had any recruiters reach out to you. You need to fix this pronto. 

5. Salary. Again, look at how much you're compensated for your time. Your time is by far the single most valuable asset you have (other than health and family). If the company devalues your worth by paying you a low salary, you probably should elsewhere where you can command a higher salary. Also, your compensation package is indicative of your market value and of the importance the company places on your role -- a poor package means you're really not that important to them; an attractive compensation scheme means you're an asset, a prized possession that they are willing to pay a fair amount of money for. Fix it if your salary is lower than what you should be getting. 

6. Liabilities. You may be dithering and wondering to yourself, "okay, this job ain't that bad but I'm not quite a fan of it". In this case, you might want to holistically review your financial status. Do you have any outstanding financial obligations e.g. a school debt or housing loan? Well if you're like me who has a mountain of debts to repay, then good luck staying put with a company that doesn't pay you well. Freedom is priceless and the longer you take to repay your debt, the more in interest you pay (the principle of interest compounding!) and the lesser you will have in future to invest and save. So don't linger on, thinking that all is fine. Fast forward your life by 60 years to retirement and you will wake up in shock knowing that you actually do need to get a better paying job. 

7. Your role. I took on a role for which I didn't think highly of for the reason that it's a role that is so fluffy, which an impact that's tough to accurately and effectively quantify. As the company grows and  when performance review time comes around, the question of how much you have done will inevitably surface. So think about your role. Are you in a role for which the company truly values and for which you can really build a strong, quantitative business case for? If you don't think it is, re-examine your role again in the context of the company. Can this company do without your role? If the answer is yes, then you're at risk of being just another face in the crowd, or worse, a dispensable that the company is going to jettison when bad times come around. 

Personally, I checked off the above list (and it's really depressing). But I just want to put it out there for someone else who might be in need of a decision framework to evaluate their options. 

Good luck and may tomorrow bring fresh hopes! 

Living in and coping with a dysfunctional family

January 3rd, 2015.

Didn't expect myself to put up another blog post so soon. 

Today, my mother went ballistic again. I did mention in my earlier blog posts that I live in a dysfunctional family and I'm not exaggerating. Oftentimes, people will say that you can choose how you react to certain situations and I'm somewhat comforted by the fact that I have a blog where I can freely let my thoughts flow. Better than nothing I guess. 

Growing up in an environment without love, I've always wondered how it's like to be in a family where everyone lives in peace and harmony. My mother has kinda been both the good and bad guy -- she is the one who holds the entire family together and she is also the one who, through her wild mood swings and insanity, broke the family up and strained all the relationships within this household. I have never really had a complete family -- and I crave for one. 

There were days I wish my parents were gone. I know this may sound terribly unfillial but when you live in an environment where the parents are constantly fighting (both verbally and physically) and you can't escape, you will find yourself wishing death upon 'em. You wanna set yourself free from the shackles of a highly negative environment, which is filled with screaming, shouting, fighting, cursing and tears. You don't want to be in a family where your mother is always praising your brothers and putting you down. You don't want to be discouraged by your mother telling you that you're ugly and good-for-nothing. 

This year, I resolve to move out of this house, to find a place which I can call my own. Will I succeed? How am I going to do it despite my lack of financial resources? Will there be a miracle? I don't know but I'm going to do my darn best to move to a place where I can finally find some peace of mind and be able to truly focus on what matters to me most. 

I can and will do it. 2016 is the year of action. 

Are you in a similar situation? Share in the comments section below. Writing out your thoughts helps. Hugs! 

Setting up my system for success in 2016

Definitely getting older by the day. I can feel it. 

The past two years have been a roller coaster ride of sorts for me. I graduated with an MBA from a top U.S b-school and went on an insane hunt for a job. Humiliated, demoralized, defeated and almost died. I rose from the ashes to eventually land a decent job that doesn't pay as well as I thought it should. Well, better a job than nothing, right? Wrong but more on that later. 2014 was a challenging year on so many fronts -- personal, family and professional. At times, it seemed as though the world was collapsing just on me and me alone. I didn't know what to expect; I thought I would fall into depression. And to make things worse, I was broke and saddled with a huge debt (USD90,000) from my MBA education in the U.S. Tough like hell before 2015 came along...with a job in tow. I took that offer knowing that it wasn't particularly in line with what I was looking for but hey, it didn't turn out that bad. At the every least, it was a great startup that managed to get itself into mainstream media for all stories bad and good. I traveled the most ever with this job and managed to get some folks envious. Despite all of the job perks, I struggled with the pay, a dysfunctional family, a broken social life and a nagging worry about what's going to my future. 

Today's January 2nd, 2015 as I sat down to pen down my thoughts on what I see myself doing in the days to come. Over the holidays, I picked up Scott Adams's book on "How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big". Two big ideas stuck -- 1) Our job is not our job; our job really is to find a better job 2) One should always have a system instead of a goal because goal-oriented people exist in a state of nearly continuous failure that they hope will be temporary. I've never thought this way before. Simple but pretty revolutionary ideas. As I march on to the big 40, I want to put in a place a system that can hopefully make the years before hitting the 4-0 sweeter than those years before I turned 30. Here's my system:

1. Own my life and my time. By this I mean not giving a damn effing sh*t to what others think about what I do. I'm fully responsible for my own life and I can't let it go. The moment I do, others will take over and plan my day for me. Never  allow yourself to fall into this situation, ever. 

2. Don't be scared. I was born into a pretty poor and broken family. Everyone says that they are poor but really? Well, my dad brought me to the airport to ask for money from strangers when my family just couldn't afford the extra penny to be donated to my school; my brothers and I had to share a Filet-O-Fish burger from McDonald's because we couldn't afford to get one burger for each person; I was always wondering at the young age of 13 how I was going to pay for my school tuition. Was I really poor? You bet. I grew up introverted and scared of the world in general. But as I became older, I also realized that my fear holds me back and pushed me deeper into the dark recesses of poverty and destitution. I'd want fear to push me to achieve greater heights and down deeper and darker. I commit to myself to never be scared again. Break things. Speak up. Do it. 

3. Count my blessings. I may be dealt the life tree of lemons but I did manage to munch on some cherries that some lovely folks brought to me. Let' see -- I got a job (though I may not like it that much), the opportunity to travel (San Francisco, Chicago, Paris, Bali, Bangkok, Phuket, Berlin, Spain, London), meet with some really nice people and some spare change to buy my favorite sweets. 

4. Just say no. Mr Congeniality. Nay, this ain't even remotely close to a title like Mr. Universe. So why the heck do so many people want to be nice and agree to do things that simply suck the life outta of 'em? Saying yes to something you dislike or to someone you despise brings negative energy. Deep inside, you actually feel horrible for nodding to that request. Reclaim your dignity, say no and you will thank yourself for it. This year and the years forward, I'm going to be saying no a million times more often than yes. 

5. Travel and meet people. Hang around with like-minded people. If you want to be an entrepreneur, meet and mix around with entrepreneurs. Don't be a recluse. You're an introvert? So am I. But hey, if you're mixing with people who think like you, it's gonna be so much less intimidating to hang with folks who share a common passion. Want to transform your life? Want to change the world? Well, go meet with folks who have similar goals. You can be a sociable introvert -- and this is exactly what I wanna be. 

6. Career. I may be working for the best employer in the U.S., but hey, who's to say that I will be employed tomorrow when I wake up? And what about that USD90,000 loan? At the current rate, I'd be debt-free only when I hit 5-0. Holy cow! And if I am fired tomorrow? You get the point and this is why I love Scott Adams's idea that we should always be on the lookout for our next job. Your job is not your career unless you're madly in love with it that it reciprocates with money and even more future opportunities. So, make it your business to always be looking for a career that fires you up so much that you will never ever want to do anything else. It's only possible if you never stop looking. 

7. Fitness. The MBA program combined with the late-night binging and lack of exercise meant an accumulation of fats and a bulging tummy. I can't sit down these days without some loose fat hanging over my belt and that's just annoying and ugly. I may never be able to attain the chiseled abs and well defined bodies of models but I think if I aim high enough, I believe I can get there. I literally spent the last 14 days in beast mode and thoroughly enjoyed busting those fats at the gym and outside. Cardio never felt this good baby! I hit close to 100km -- and you know what, I am going to crosse the 10KM mark this evening. Being fit and leans helps me move faster and build confidence. What's there not to like? The motivation is there and I will never want to stop moving. 

8. Home. I have been sleeping on a floor mattress since the day I was born. I get a bed to myself only when I'm out traveling or overseas for work etc. How ironic this is. And you know what? I sleep in the living room. Absolutely no privacy. I feel like I could do so much more if I had a space to myself and this year, I wanna work my ass off to get the sh*t out of this  house. I want a space to call my own and do my own thing. Without a decent living space, it's just draining to have to deal with all the inconveniences that come with a shared room. Considering my low salary and high debt, this seems to be moonshot but that's also the reason for why I want to put this out here -- we hold each other accountable for our achievements. 

Writing this blog post today makes me feel a ton better and thanks for reading. Turning a year older and moving into 2016 ain't all that bad afterall. Perhaps you're in a similar quandary yourself and if so, do drop me a note -- let me know what's bothering you and how you plan to deal with it. 

Let's make each day count. Make your own opportunity and destiny. Own it. 

Happy birthday, Mr. Start-Up

Today's my birthday.

I've never been in the mood to celebrate my birthday. My family doesn't care much about birthdays and I can't remember the last time we ever got to together to celebrate the birthday of anyone. Part of the reason was because we just weren't able to afford a birthday party, cake or anything fanciful when I was little. After I started work, things got slightly better but by then, we had already gotten used to the idea of not celebrating birthdays in the typical fashion -- the most that we would do to mark the birthday of anyone was to get some fried chicken. That was already a big step forward from what we used to have when I was little.

Today's slightly different. Nope, I still didn't celebrate my birthday but I actually did something different to mark this occasion. To begin with, my mood was somber -- I've got a negative prognosis on my future career. It wasn't exactly the kind of news one would want to receive on this day, but you know what, I can actually live with it. In fact, it got me thinking -- the more the world wants me to fail, the more I want to succeed; the more the world thinks that I can't make it, the more I want to win -- and to win big. 

With that thought, I decided to go for a 15-round run (3.75 miles) around the stadium track. Ever since I got home, my fitness level has plunged -- I got lazy and started to use age an excuse to cut back on the intensity and frequency of my exercise routine. The path ahead is long and uncertain; it is therefore even more important that I preserve my health for a long and arduous journey ahead. I don't want to surrender to life. I went to get my MBA because I didn't want to be who I was in the past. I wanted to be me; I aspired to become someone who can change the world. To achieve my dreams, good health is therefore paramount. And there is no better way to mark my birthday than to make a promise to myself that I will stay healthy and fit. A 15-round run - though not a personal best nor some record-breaking feat - was still an achievement.

I am currently enrolled in a technology entrepreneurship course at Stanford. This is my second attempt at taking this course and while I am up to my neck with full-time job applications, I decided that this is a great opportunity for me to meet kindred spirits and get my name out there...to show the world what I can do and to accomplish what I believe I can do. So I am immensely pleased that I thought of an idea that I could work on. It's all about the shared economy, which is a phrase coined to describe the new, connected world that we live in; one where people will pool resources together to benefit themselves, their community and even the world we all live in. I am not sure how to execute the idea yet (it involves some hardcore computer coding and I have little coding knowledge) but I am incredibly excited that I hatched the idea today -- on this day that is coincidentally my birthday.

Happy birthday, my new venture. May you grow up healthy, popular, strong and powerful.

Bring out the child in you!

Many people lament about lost childhood, about wanting to go back to the carefree days of being a child. Of late, I have had the same feeling, which inexplicably becomes stronger with each passing day. I wanted to be a kid once more, to live the life of being a child, completely unsaddled by (or should I say ignorant to) society's expectations and by life's pressures; I wanted to be able to have unbridled freedom to do what I want, in things that truly interest me.

Wait, why have I lost my freedom and my ability to simply listen to my heart when I am supposedly wiser and more independent now as an adult? Have I also caved in to the need to conform and in the process, lost myself? These were the thoughts that lingered in my mind, and as I was searching for the answers, I discovered, to my aghast, that I was no longer the high-achieving top performer I used to be 23 years ago! I used to be among the best, if not, the best in my class; I was always producing top quality work and drawing praise (and an occasional look of envy) from people around me. However, as I critically examined my performance in my post-college years, I am grossly disappointed. Granted that I had occasional wins over my eight-year career, I have not had the kind of phenomenal success that I had as a child. So what did I do 23 years ago that enabled me to perform at my peak? 

1. Focus 

Growing up with a mother who knew the value of getting a good education, I led a pretty disciplined life as a child. I knew that I had to focus on my studies - and be insanely good at it. My family of five depended on my dad's monthly income of US$500 to get by and this meant that we couldn't afford life's luxuries, like computer games, musical instruments, and fancy athletic gears. On the positive side, this meant that I had no distractions. I was able to simply focus on my studies all day every day. Malcolm Gladwell in his book, "Outliers", mentioned that true mastery comes only after 10,000 hours of continuous, consistent practice. By focusing on my studies, I was able to accelerate the learning process and before I knew it, I had already spent more than 10,000 hours on my studies. No surprises that a poor kid like me could outperform children who came from a financially better background. 

2. Grit

I am never the smartest kid in the class and I never for once believe that I have the Einstein-genius type of genes in me. I may have a good college degree, and recently, an MBA but I am nowhere close to being an Einstein (or some would say, Tesla's Elon Musk). My parents had little education, and were never academically inclined. I was however able to achieve significant breakthroughs in school. I came out tops in my Arts & Craft, Math and Science classes. I had the second highest score in my elementary school. Why? Hardwork. Determination. Perseverance. Grit. I stayed up till midnight just so that I could do one more exercise (Check back on my previous blog post on the value of "Just one more"!), I woke up an hour early every morning before I went to school to review my work; I rushed home from school just so that I could finish up the assessment books -- and get another one from the bookstore. I literally busted my ass during those years just so that I could soar in school. 

3. The "Indiana Jones Adventurer"mindset

I was particularly good at Maths and had a flair for Arts and languages when I was in school. I could say all this in hindsight but I actually never knew that I had a knack for design though I was almost always able to produce amazing work in class. What I knew then was I enjoyed doing what I did. As a kid, I allowed my imagination to run wild and before I knew it, I was producing all kinds of fancy art pieces - calligraphy, wood sculpture, oil paintings, charcoal drawings. Nothing was too difficult for me. I had the adventurous spirit in me to explore and I completely gave myself free rein to create and build whatever I liked. Not good enough? "It's okay -- I can always redo another one." was my attitude. 

4. Be at war with the greatest enemy - myself

I was pretty good with languages but the Chinese Language (if you have taken it before) isn't exactly the easiest language to master in the world. The first thought that came to my mind, however, was not whether or not I would fail. Rather, I thought about what I could do to tackle the challenge and excel in class. I had a warrior mindset. I didn't take the easy way out by throwing in the towel; instead I threw down the gauntlet to my competitors and in making a tough commitment, I found the energy to seek out means and ways to improve my language skills. I vividly remember going through Chinese newspapers and copying down phrases after phrases of sentences and unique idioms in a book; I remember spending hours after hours going through newspaper articles to build up my Chinese vocabulary. Success begets success and I became so fired up and I was constantly challenging myself to be better. I was at war with myself. 

5. Immersed myself in a superior environment

Growing up in a neighborhood school meant that my classmates were not kids from elite backgrounds. I wasn't aware of anyone in class who had parents who drove fanciful cars (though this completely changed when I went to middle school). I was in a very supportive environment where we helped each other out and I prospered. I eventually did well enough to enrol in the country's best middle school and while I initially had a culture shock (me, a kid whose family earned enough to qualify for financial aid from the country vs others whose families were millionaires), I was actually fortunate enough to have friends who were better than me. I mixed around with the best of the best and I could occasionally get their help on school work. I had access to amazing resources in school and even if I weren't the top 10% in school, I would still rank among the top 10% in the country. 

Fast forward 23 years and I am now jobless and wondering what's next for me. I went from being a kid with no elitist background to attending the top middle school in the country and eventually graduating within the top 2% of my class in college...and now back to being a nobody. What happened? Why have I fallen from the sky? If life has any lessons for me, and if I do get a second chance at being a top performer, these are things that I absolutely need to fix:

1. Distractions

I simply lost my way. I became too caught up in the proverbial rat race. I succumbed to life's pressures and others' expectations of me (more on this in my earlier blog post on "How to Lead a Happy Life"). I spent time trying to do everything and ended up achieving nothing. I jumped at whatever is cool and hip and could help me become rich but in the process, lost myself and my focus. I cared too much about what others (parents, friends and business associates) would think of me and too little about what works best for me. I stopped being a master at my own game. 

2. A shrinking network

When you experience success, you will feel good about yourself and the confidence you gained will be a natural people's magnet. You will find yourself getting offers for jobs and people wanting to know you. You walk around with a glow on your face and a halo above your head; you radiate and glitter - and you grow as a person. As I jumped from one opportunity to another opportunity and continued to experience setbacks and misses, my confidence continued to get battered, day by day, year by year. I lost the confidence to go out and meet people...because I simply don't know what to say and how to behave. My network began to shrink and this created a vicious circle. I am no longer mixing with people who knew more than me, were smarter than me, or could bring me to greatness.

3. A fear of the unknown
I became too self conscious and ended up creating this hole that sucked my life in. While I still went ahead to get my MBA with no certainty of a bright future, I was still mired in a "scared-to-fail" mindset. I became suspicious of what lies ahead and began to doubt my abilities and skills. I have the experience, the skills and the results to take on the world's greatest problem but the fear of the unknown is pulling me back. I cared too much how others were better than me and underestimated my ability to be better than them. Fear cripples and destroys, like a subconscious devil that lurks in the dark recesses of your mind. It must be purged, without delay. 

Writing this blog post is cathartic. This is however a great first step in getting my life back on track and rising from the ashes of failure. It's really my own doing that I am where I am today and I accept it. But you know what, recognizing where I have gone wrong and knowing how I could regain success will get me up and running. Focus. Persevere. Push on. Reach out. I want to bring out the kid in me again -- and I will. 

What failures have you had in life? Are you still the child that you were many years? How have you successfully overcome life's challenges and handled the lemons that were thrown at you to get to where you are today? I'd love to hear from you. Share your thoughts in the comments section below!

Always remember, your career is a line and not a single point. 

Four tips to leading an instantly happy life

I recently visited a tropical country in Asia and found that this city is filled with people who are unhappy. You don't see people smile; you hardly see people laugh; you rarely see people celebrate life. For a country that always tops the charts on various global business indices, you'd think that the success of the country would naturally percolate down to its people. The truth is anything but. In fact, according to the Happy Planet Index, this country ranks a miserable 90 out of 151 countries analyzed. Life ain't easy for a lot of people, but it sure has taken a toll on a good number of people who reside on this little sunny island. I wish they could be happier!

I am no happiness guru but I am sure those people in that country - and everywhere else - would benefit from the following four happiness tips. Results guaranteed, with no less than a smile of course!

1. Change your perspective
Life is all about how we look at certain issues. If you don't think so, take any unhappy problems you have now and reframe it; focus on the positive outcomes rather than the negative, look at the upside and not the downside. Once you look at your predicament through what I call the happiness lens, you'd actually be happy and weirdly thankful that you are in this situation.

I am unemployed and am out job hunting all day every day. I recently had my 6th round of interview with a consulting firm, and waited for more than a week, hoping that they would call with an offer...but no calls. I did not receive any rejection emails either. For people who have been through this process before, you'd know this feeling. So I decided to change the way I looked at this issue -- the longer the consulting firm took to come back to me with a decision, the more time I would have to look for another job, the higher the probability of me finding a job that would be a better fit with my aspirations! This thought was liberating, and it cheered me up instantly. I found renewed energy in my stride. And always remember, you lost a company that doesn't like you; the company lost someone who was in love with them? Who's the real loser here? The company, not you.

2. Do not compare
Life is hard but harder if you're always competing with others, either knowingly or unknowingly, with others. Facebook has made it worse by giving you news feeds at the most inopportune time -- a friend declaring she's got a great job offer in Seattle; another posting 101 photos of his vacation in Europe, all these while you're busy scouring the net for a job. The truth hurts - and this is nothing further from the truth. But things will miraculously change once you realize that all of us are unique and different, right from the day we were born. There are simply no benefits to comparing with others. Quit looking at and admiring the good fortune of your peers, and celebrate who you are today. Smile.

3. Be all in 
How often have we been blindsided by our own self-imposed unhappiness that we neglect to be "all in" in whatever we do? By allowing yourself to be mired in unhappiness, you're preventing yourself to give your all to the task at hand. Much has been said about the value of focus, and it is no different here. If you can't focus and dedicate yourself to what you do, you can never scale the peak of excellence; if you can't jettison your unhappiness, you are setting yourself up for mediocrity and greater failure. See the connection here? So give yourself and life another chance at every single thing you do and be "all in". Plus, there's always the bonus of a euphoric high from a job well done.
Need some help here? Try meditation to reclaim your mental focus. There's an app that I use called "Headspace" and I absolutely love it ! For more details, check it out here http://www.getsomeheadspace.com

4. Live your own life
Sometimes, we care too much about other people's view of us, and in the process, allow our perception of their views to guide our behavior. Between a 100-hour per week job that pays $20,000 a month and a 40-hour per week job that pays $7,000 a month, most people would likely go for the former since being rich and wealthy would buy you respect from people around you -- or so you think. Yes, while people may gossip about you, they often don't really care that much about you and what you do. If this is the case, then why should you allow your actions to be dictated by others would perceive you? Honor yourself, stake your claim to your life and do whatever you need to do to bring you happiness. You will soon find that there are just as many cheerleaders around you, too.

Hope you will find the above happiness tips useful. If you ever need help to change your view of the world, drop me a line. I'd also love to hear from you your secrets to happiness. Go ahead and share in the comments section below!

Demystifying talent assessment centers - 4 reasons why they don't work

I'd be the first to admit that I enjoy reading HR and personal effectiveness books. In fact, I am reading the book by Richard Nelson Bolles, "What color is your parachute?" for the second time. However, when measuring the effectiveness of any person's professional capabilities, I'd seriously stop at engaging the help of a HR consultancy firm, especially those that purport to be able to assess the strengths and weaknesses of an individual within a day simply by putting them through their proprietary behavioral assessment programs.

DDI (Development Dimensions International) is one of the many HR consultancy firms in the market that offers talent assessment solutions. One of their better known programs is the one-day assessment center test that puts applicants through a role-play under what they would label as "stretched" and "stressful" conditions. I recently was selected to participate in the assessment center program as the last and final selection stage for the Global-Asia Management Program administered by the Economic Development Board of Singapore (more on this program in my next post). Despite being skeptical about the true effectiveness of such a method in assessing an individual's qualities, I went ahead to prepare for my actual day assessment by putting in the hours to review the materials which were e-mailed to me about five days in advance. I was assigned to take on the persona of Marty Kane, the Area Director for North American Operations of a fictitious company, Global Solutions, Inc. This company offers a whole slew of robotics solutions across diverse industries.

Having read and thought through the required materials beforehand, I was confident that I will be able to nail the challenge on the actual day -- I knew what to expect at the assessment center; I had several strategic frameworks all written out to help me tackle different business issues; I understood the criticality of certain issues and the urgency of getting them all resolved as Marty Kane. I was all ready to jump right into the exercise.

On that morning, I arrived at the assessment center to find five other candidates who had also been shortlisted by EDB to participate in this exercise. Most of them were all from very well-known b-schools -- London Business School, MIT Sloan, Stanford, Oxford Said. (While I was acutely aware of how elitist Singapore is, I was pleasantly surprised to find myself in the unique position of being an underdog, given the lower ranking of my b-school.) Interesting start to the day. We were then quickly ushered into a conference room and were briefed by an immaculately-attired DDI representative on the string of events to take place. Nothing I didn't already know.

Shortly, we were asked to take up our positions in the room. Each room was deliberately furnished to resemble an office, with a laptop and other stationery on the desk -- except that this room came equipped with a videocam that points at you and surreptitiously captures every single movement of yours. I felt my privacy being intruded upon and felt at that instant, like a guinea pig about to be operated on in a science laboratory. Seriously, would any companies that treat their staff with integrity want to even allow them to be continually filmed for seven hours, all in the name of talent assessment? I  frowned and quickly realized that my expression could have been recorded. I cast aside that thought and quickly got down to work.

I began to feel very uncomfortable and started to perspire profusely as I worked on my e-mails. No, not that the e-mails were intimidating, but it was simply the room -- there was little ventilation. I was in my executive jacket (hey, there were points for executive presence!), and the heat and humidity got the better of me. I refrained from wiping my perspiration thinking that this would portray me poorly but this didn't last long. Twenty minutes into the session, I decided to let go (screw those executive presence points) and just be myself. Which chief executive in the world would not perspire when it's hot? This thought sent me free, and I gained the momentum to tackle the e-mails as they came in.

Like what I had expected, there were about six e-mails sitting in my in-tray awaiting resolution. As the Area Director who was on the job on his first day, the number of e-mails sure made things seem urgent.  I wondered to myself, how realistic is it for an person - regardless of designation - to be asked to look into critical issues on his/her first work day? Would any CEO worth their salt entrust a new director to handle a public relations fiasco that has severe repercussions on the share price of the company? Grudgingly, I went through all the e-mails and began to plan my day on how and which issues to work on first. Since my business plan presentation was after lunch, I reckoned that I'd be able to power through my business plan presentation during my lunch hours. I could then use the remaining time to focus on other outstanding issues.

The issues were plenty and ranged from HR issues (I needed to teach someone to coach a recalcitrant employee who used to be a star performer. How did that person even become a manager without knowing how to coach a subordinate?), to operational issues to power struggles (yes, another director obviously was already unhappy with Marty Kane, even before she had joined the company. What a b****). I paused for a minute and recalled the things that didn't work and leadership behaviors I loathed when I was working. I decided that if I were to be a leader, I would have to take a position on certain issues (especially since DDI had made the cases urgent by emphasizing that I would only have one day to handle all issues and would be uncontactable thereafter). I had to be very focused and clear in my communications -- and used this approach to tackle the issues as they came.

The e-mails - unsurprisingly - came in fast and furious and before I knew it, it was lunch time and I had to start working through my business plan presentation. I wanted to impress by inserting a graph but decided that I'd be better off using that time to craft my message. My overarching goal was to impress my supervisor within 15 minutes and get his backing for my proposal. I broke down my presentation to several key areas -- Market Analysis; Marketing Strategy; Financials; Operations; Execution Plan; Potential Risks. I was quite pleased that I had comprehensively formulated the problem (my b-school professor would be proud of me) and came up with a set of slides that touched on the key areas; I was equally excited to be making a presentation too. After one round of rehearsal, I was ready to welcome my assessor -- a snobbish lady who was to do the role-play with me. The entire presentation lasted for half an hour and the assessor asked some questions pertaining to my slides and at one point, I was a little taken aback when she asked questions on areas which I had already covered extensively in my presentation. (Maybe she was thinking about her lunch, I reckoned.) She also fired away some questions which she had prepared beforehand, which were not presentation-specific. While it wasn't a nerve-wrecking experience (trust me, hosting a dinner is more a million times scarier than this), I wasn't in the best of mood. Again, my attempt to show my enthusiasm during the presentation had only made me perspire even more profusely! I tried to maintain my composure and put on a grin, despite beads of perspiration running down my cheeks. Gosh, what is wrong with the ventilation of the building? I almost wanted to scream to literally let off some steam. But seeing the voice recorder (yes, they record every single thing about you) on the table, I stifled my scream and soldiered on.

After the business plan presentation, it was back to my e-mails - and more e-mails. At some point, I began to even laugh at how ludicrous the scenarios were. This ironically helped me relax and I actually felt good typing out my responses to each of those e-mails, even proffering advice based on what my real-life work experience. My day abruptly ended with an interview, with the same snobbish lady whom I met earlier. She started off asking me questions pertaining to how I went about organizing my day, who I would actively engage in the company, which issues were deemed most important to me (I could hardly remember all the issues and the names of everyone involved and I naturally fumbled to come up with a response. I quietly suspected that this question was more a test of my memory than anything else), before moving on to questions about how I have handled certain situations throughout my career. Honestly, I was surprised and irked when she started asking me those questions, many of which had already been asked twice in a video and a phone interview I have already had prior to coming to the assessment center. The feeling was akin to being in an operationally defunct hospital, with a patient having to answer the same questions asked by three different doctors. They probably have never heard of resource streamlining and optimization.

Next, I was moved to a conference room where I met up with the other shortlisted candidates. I was late by about 10 minutes (due to the interview) and I went in not knowing what to do. I quickly reorganized myself and realized that we had to - as a team - come up with some suggestions to the problems that the fictitious company was facing. It was interesting to see how different people behaved in a group setting, especially with an alpha male candidate clearly dominating the discussion. Different people had different opinions and I could not see the discussion converging. What a déjà-vu scene! I thought I should chip in and get everyone back on track -- and thought I did well by not dominating the discussion though the team failed to achieve any consensus at the end of the discussion. There were some DDI assessors in the room too, and we were judged for how we behaved and what we said during that 20 odd minutes.

The day soon ended and I was exhausted from all the perspiration. Mentally, it was not as challenging as I thought it would be -- well, it was all fictitious and there was nothing to stop me from coming up with out-of-the-box "solutions" since there was simply no way to assess whether that solution would be effective or otherwise. I was relieved that I could remove my jacket and breathe easy, and actually motivated by my interactions with those applicants from the better schools. This vindicated my view that students should not be judged solely based on the prestige of their schools. A great confidence booster !

About two weeks later, I heard back from the Global-Asia Management Program administrator -- I was rejected. Oh dang. What did I do wrong at the assessment center? I quickly fixed an appointment to speak with a senior consultant from DDI to get a better sense of how I was assessed. Surely, if I had successfully advanced to the final selection round only to flub it, the assessment center must have given me nothing but a less-than-favorable report? I couldn't wait to hear it from DDI -- and grill them on their methodology.

A senior consultant prefaced the feedback with several caveats. According to him, the results of the assessment were based the collective efforts of three DDI staff, with one reviewing e-mails and others giving their feedback based on what they saw and heard throughout the day. While there was a list of attributes that they checked against, I was only briefed on two key strengths and two key weaknesses. I received praise for being task-oriented (the evidence being that I was very clear in my instructions and in my e-mails. Yes, I have achieved my goal to avoid bad writing and dishing out nebulous instructions) and for being someone who is not afraid of taking on challenges and new responsibilities. I displayed a strong go-getter character and showed courage at tackling various tasks and was adamant in resolving them. (Perfect observation that matches my goal to be an enterprising innovation chief!). He also said that I was very analytical and could make great business analysis and judgement and was adept at making sense of large data sets. So what went wrong?

Going on to what DDI called "developmental areas" (a euphemism for weakness), I was told that I could do much more to "involve others in areas where I am able to ensure mutual outcomes"; I should also consider ways to better enhance my ability to "lead people to change". Wait, what was he saying again? And so he explained that I was authoritative (excuse me, isn't this how a leader should be like given the criticality of the situation?) and was not as effective as they would like me to be when engaging others to come up with mutually beneficial outcomes. He then went on to clarify that by "leading people to change", he meant that I was being prescriptive to only my staff. (I have a big issue with this -- why be so pompous as to string together power corporate words like "lead", "people", "change" when all they meant I was being prescriptive to my staff? This makes no sense.) I clarified that I reacted according to the circumstances of the case, based on my interpretation of the instructions given. I was bemused when he added that I had great people skills and was a strong communicator. Does this point not conflict with their observations of me being authoritative and prescriptive? Was there a misinterpretation somewhere? While I may seem like I am resisting negative feedback here, I would like to add that feedback given should be consistent and clear and supported with right evidence and observations. All they could be quote was an example through their 20-minute long observation and several "themes" they drew by reading my e-mails. Pathetic. Where's the robustness in their assessment?

My experience shows that HR consultancy companies that charge a few grands to allegedly provide a systematic solution to gauge staff potential are not worth their salt. It's all an exercise in futility and an utter waste of precious resources for all involved. Unless those companies could address the following issues, you - and your company - would do better to think twice before using an assessment center to evaluate your future hires.

1. Unrealistic. Each candidate is put through situations that purportedly resembles real-life situation. But really? Which company would put a new hire on the frontline on their first workday? Is a seven-hour assessment, based on the arbitrary evaluation by three strangers for a short time period enough to accurately gauge the qualities and effectiveness of a person? Is disallowing all forms of communications - except e-mails - representative of the modern, highly connected world? Are e-mails even a good proxy of someone's interpersonal skills? Is a short 20-minute discussion any effective at determining how someone performs at work? If not, how does DDI even achieves its goals to help companies "reduce hiring mistakes"? Given that behaviors are better assessed over an extended period of time, how does a short seven-hour assessment be any more reliable than a manager's evaluation of someone's performance and behavior over the course of, say, a year or several years? Would past performance not be a better indicator of future performance than the results from a make-believe environment that is anything but representative of the real world?

2. Inaccurate. There has been a lot of research done on how e-mails could give rise to misunderstanding. Surprisingly, this point was lost on DDI when one of their main judging criteria was e-mails. The assessors were looking out for "key themes" and a balance of several qualities in the e-mails candidates sent. Hardly anything was said about the content and quality of the ideas in the e-mails. If e-mails were the least effective way to resolve any HR issues, then why is a HR company using e-mails as a way to judge how a candidate would potentially interact with other people in the future? I find it incredulous that after all these years when I was lauded for my ability to lead teams to deliver solids results, I was sadly evaluated - based on eight e-mails I sent - for being unable to "lead people to change". Seriously, DDI?

3. Ambiguous. I thought there is a structured way to finally measure a person's professional abilities. This turned out to be a huge disappointment. The entire assessment center evaluation was based on the subjective perceptions and interpretation of three strangers. How much experience do those assessors have in working with top executives who run for-profit organizations? Are they the best person to partner any organizations in making hiring decisions, knowing that those companies are going to place a high emphasis on the outcome of their evaluation? Why did DDI - a company that has been around for 40 odd years - not even think of coming up with a scale to assess how strong or weak each quality is? Just like a strength can be a weak strength, a weakness can also be recessive. Definitely ample room for improvement here. The ambiguity of the evaluation methodology is a huge flaw.

4. Biased. One key bugbear many employees have is how biased a performance review process can be; in a similar vein, it is often hard to isolate the biasedness that recruiters tend to have when interviewing a candidate. While the process of putting candidates through a screening process like an assessment center may seem at first glance a way to finally overcome those biases, my recent experience showed that it is nothing revolutionary. Given that the assessment remains a highly subjective exercise by three other people who have their biases, prejudices, personalities, likes and dislikes, how is anyone to be certain that the results are reliable and free from biases? If not, how does it overcome those biases? Who's to say that there will be no evaluator who will dominate the discussion and drive the outcome of the final report based on his/her preconception? If the results are likely to be flawed, how then does it justify the integrity of its evaluation of any one person?

Such assessment centers may help complement the results of a manager's evaluation, since the manager has the advantage of already assessing their staff prior to receiving the results from the assessment center. (Still, any effective managers should trust their own judgements of their own staff rather than entrust the fate of their staff to a team of highly-paid strangers.) However, given how much these companies charge, and the attendant shortcomings of the entire process, I'm bemused why companies are willing to fork out huge sums of money to make hiring decisions, which if wrongly executed, will have a detrimental impact on a company's future strategic growth. Until such a time when the process could be made objective, assessment centers lack the credibility they need to develop into an accurate talent measurement resource.

How to Conquer a Video Interview

If you're reading this post, you're probably having butterflies in your stomach because you have just been shortlisted for an interview but you're apprehensive at the same time about what to expect from a video interview. Well, the good news is, a video interview is nothing new and a lot of us have experienced what you are experiencing right now -- that oh-too-familiar feeling of anxiety; that anticipation of the unknown; that sense of helplessness. I've been through enough video interviews to know how frightening and nerve-wrecking those interviews can be. While I wish I could help do the interview on your behalf, you know that you will ultimately have to fight - and hopefully win - this battle yourself. What I can do is to share my tips for success and take the guesswork out of a video interview process.

Here are my 8 tips on how to nail a video interview !

1. Find a quiet room with a clean background and an impeccable internet connection . With the proliferation of smartphones, tablets and phablets, you're probably thinking that you could easily kill a video interview by using one of those gadgets. To that, I'd say no -- you're more likely to end up flubbing it than walking out from the room a victor. If that interview is important to you, do yourself a favor by finding a room that provides you with seamless broadband connection and allows you to have your interview without any visual interruption and noise disturbance. I am speaking from experience -- I've had an interview with company X only to have my interview interrupted by a poor connection. I completely lost my cool and along with it my train of thought. As expected, the interview turned out to be a complete disaster and I was rejected almost immediately. Don't let this happen to you. Oh, and make sure that all unsightly objects (e.g. that poster of a bikini-clad model or a torso-baring hunk) do not appear in the background. You definitely don't want your interviewer to remember you for your taste (or lack of it).

2. Maintain eye contact. Speaking to someone during a video interview is quite unlike Skype-ing your sister or Facetiming your best pal from college. You've to make sure that you maintain your enthusiasm and professionalism. The best way to judge a candidate on video is to look at how he or she behaves in front of the camera and given the limited field of vision a recruiter has, the eyes of an interviewee are what a recruiter looks at to tell whether or not the interviewee is confident. So be very sure that you are "looking" at the other party. To do this, test out the front camera function of the computer you will be using and record yourself to ascertain which part of the computer you should be looking at in order to appear as though you are looking straight at the interviewer. Mark that spot with an "X" -- the recruiter is not going to find out anyway! During your practice and the actual interview, look at the "X" sign at all times. It may feel awkward initially but you're going to appear as a confident individual on the other end of the computer !

3. Avoid and minimize all unnecessary body movements. You probably didn't realize this but a camera magnifies all your actions. So if you are someone who is very animated and tends to have a lot of exaggerated body movements when you speak, it is imperative that you tone down all those movements - or even better, cut them out completely - for that 45 minutes of video interview! People fidget when they are nervous and stressed out. Projecting a steady image in front of the camera just makes it so much more pleasant for your recruiter visually and it also creates an impression - albeit subconsciously - that you are someone who is dependable and level-headed. Clasp your hands in front of you on the table, and interlock the fingers (breaking occasionally to make a gesture) if you don't know where to place your hands. Never scratch your head or face during a video interview. This simply reeks of unprofessionalism.

4. Smile. Remember what I've just said about the camera being a magnifying glass of your actions? Well, this is the time to put on your best Colgate smile ! A smile makes you look good, and more importantly, helps take the pressure off you. Yes, when you smile, you're effectively sending signals to your brain that you're enjoying the process and this will inevitably help you lower your anxiety level, which will all contribute to a great video interview. And remember to put on a smile from the heart -- the naked eye can easily tell a genuine smile apart from an artificial, constipated one.

5. Sit up straight and push your head slightly forward. I can't emphasize this enough. I have seen tons of bad videos of people who slouched in their seats. While this is fine when you are watching a YouTube video at your own time, you've to remember that your posture is going to affect how you are perceived by the recruiter. Sit up straight and take control of your posture. Have your stomach in, chest out and just move your head forward by a teeny bit (this shows that you are interested in making a good conversation with the person on the other side of the video). Check to make sure the screen captures your head all the way down to your upper chest level. A good posture will give you the confidence, or help you fake the confidence that you need when tackling some oddball questions!

6. Record and review your own response. I was flabbergasted by how I first saw myself on video (and I don't mean by my physical appearance). I had always thought that I was pretty darn confident in front of people but that confidence sadly didn't come through in the first video recording that I did of myself. You may loathe seeing yourself on camera but trust me, if that video interview matters a lot to you, looking at yourself on video and being your own critic will go a long way in helping you prep for the big day. In fact, for every single video interview that I am scheduled for, I'd be sure to have my practice interview recorded, replayed, and reviewed at least 10 times. Yes, this is how demanding you have to be in order to be perfect for the task !

7. Project your voice (but don't shout). You think you have a Donald Duck voice that sounded horrible and weak on video? You are not alone -- I wanted to take a speech therapy class, thinking that that would help me project my voice better. However I didn't have the luxury of time to attend a speech therapy class before I was called up for my first video interview. Fortunately, I found some amazing videos online that espouses the importance of drawing on your energy from your diaphragm to "throw out" your voice from the head. Ever since I realized the importance of not speaking from the head, I've been better able to utilize my diaphragm when I speak. And it makes a huge difference to the way your voice sounds on video ! Once you've learnt to take control of your own voice, you will sound that much nicer and more powerful on video.

8. Enunciate and take your time to give your reply. We tend to speak fast when we are nervous. This may make it very difficult for the recruiter to take down notes of the conversation (which simply means the recruiter will miss out on some crucial points that could have been used in the evaluation!). To facilitate the work of the recruiter, slow your speech down deliberately (no one is rushing you) and enunciate your words. Not only will this help you catch your breath, it also makes the entire conversation that much more pleasant to the recruiter. 

A video interview - like all other interviews - is not easy. In fact, it may be harder than you think! So don't underestimate it if you're under the delusion that it's going to be much easier than a face-to-face interview. While you may be physically away from your recruiter, you are nonetheless just as visible to your recruiter. In fact, given that you are framed in a video, a recruiter may be better able to focus on how you present yourself in a video. My experience however tells me that with practice - and some great tips - there is nothing to fear. So go forth, relax and enjoy the experience! I'd love to know how it goes, so write to me in the comments section below and share your experience with others!

Getting the best returns from your mental reserves

It's a rainy night with the occasional cold breeze ruffling my tussled hair. I am especially pleased with my own achievements today -- I am more than half way through my book on how to use HTML, read a few articles in Harvard Business Review, completed my run in the park, spent quality time with my family and even managed to squeeze in a bit of shopping. Believe it or not, I still have energy to do a lot more - I plan to read one more chapter of the HTML book and one article in HBR before I hit the sheets - though it's already way past midnight. You must be wondering, how did I manage to do all that ? From where did I get my energy? 

I am no different from you. I have my share of commitments, duties and errants; I don't have a diet that is specially planned for me by a dietician; neither can I afford expensive supplements to boost my energy levels. What I do have is a wealth of mental reserves that I have carefully built up. And yes, you've read it right - mental reserves. Think of them as gold inventory that the U.S. Government has carefully put away in its vault, except that what I have are stored in my body as mental fuel. 

I first conceived this concept of mental reserves when I was working on my application to business schools while holding down a 100-hour-per-week day job. Those days were simply awful -- I was exhausted every single day and rarely did I end a day feeling satisfied and happy; I led a monotonous life that sucked the energy out of me. It was however not until my birthday that I realized that I should do something about my life and that got me thinking. I  began to consciously keep track of my daily activities right from the moment I got off bed to the time I went to sleep; I started to look at ways to make over my life...and I had a light bulb moment one day when I saw a group of runners sprint past me as I was walking home from yet another dull work day. To last a marathon, athletes have to ensure that they make optimal use of their body fuel that is carbohydrates. And if life is often "affectionately" referred to as a marathon, doesn't that mean that we - as in you, me and everybody else - should be prudent in drawing on our mental reserves in our daily lives?

Mental reserves are accumulated when we have our daily 6-8 hour sleep; we start drawing down our mental reserves the moment we are awake. How you use those reserves to ensure that you have a surplus will determine how successful you are in a given day. Recall that I mentioned at the start of this post that I have a wealth of mental reserves? Yes, I have - over the course of day - taken care to draw on my reserves and use them on things that truly matter to me. I was aware that whatever I do will reduce my mental reserve inventory and this realization made me focus on my priorities. If you are careful with how you spend your income, you will have a substantial amount leftover to put into your savings account; in the same vein, if you are frugal and disciplined with how you use your mental reserves, you will have a mental reserve surplus at the end of the day! 

Now that you are familiar with the concept of mental reserves, here are 5 things that I do to make sure that my mental reserves are optimally used and which I hope you will find equally relevant for your own use :

1. Identify three things that are critically important to you everyday. Good health will allow me to pursue my dreams and complete the marathon of life and I make sure that I invest time in my health and fitness everyday; reading and learning from others is how I'd like to inspire myself and I put aside time to jog my brain; being there for my family makes me feel accomplished and I love to spend time doing things in the house to make life better. 

2. Know how your body functions and listen to it. I work best in the morning and at night, and am bad at making great progress on tough assignments in the afternoon. I used to think that I should focus on one project until I have completed it but realizing that I am not making optimal use of my mental reserves in the afternoon has led me to overhaul the way I do things. Instead of tackling a project through the day, I split my project up and allocate specific times to work on them depending on the demands of the project and the complexity of the tasks associated with it. Knowing that I function best in the morning, I bulldoze my way through all challenging (or mundane) projects in the morning, and devote the afternoon to stuff from which I absorb positive energy, such as interacting with customers, making sales calls and reading  inspirational from-rags-to-riches stories penned by people I admire. I also apply a principle which I call "Just one more" to  push my limits to make sure that each ounce of mental reserve gets me a 101% return. (For more information on "Just one more", read my earlier blog post. )

3. Be acutely aware of your environment.  Let's get real -- you can't function with kids crying around you, parents bickering next door or dogs barking to be fed. I live in a shoebox apartment with my family and my environment is usually quite noisy in the day and peaceful at night. Instead of watching TED talks when it's quieter in the evening, I squeeze in time in the day for a short TED talk when people are having a war around me. This has in essence helped free up time for me in the evening to focus on mentally taxing work like strategizing my life and reviewing disruptive business innovations. And I still get my daily dose of inspiration from TED while conserving the use of my mental reserves! Ain't this perfect? 

4. Identify trailblazers you admire and feed on their wisdom of success. I am on LinkedIn (if you're, look me up and let's get connected), and I follow certain influencers very closely; I am also on Twitter and those thought leaders I admire (such as Jack Welch, Jeff Weiner, Richard Branson, Dave Kerpen and Marissa Meyer) often have inspiring tweets and blog posts that will help refuel my mental reserve. Build your own lists and set aside time everyday to learn from the best to know how you can be better than the best. 

5. Be adaptable yet disciplined and focus. Sounds contradictory? They sure do, but that's what I do all day every day. I adapt my schedule to new changes but remain unwavering in adhering to my priority list. If I have to spend my morning doing something which depletes my mental reserves, I am disciplined enough to know that I need to recharge sometime in the day; I also maintain my laser focus on my list of priorities and be sure to set aside a chunk of my time and mental reserves to accomplish each of those activities. Life is never predictable but how you react to it is within your control ! 

I hope this post has changed your perspective on how you have viewed life and has jolted you out from your lethargic slumber. If you find yourself drained and unhappy, do what I did -- get acquainted with the concept of mental reserves and work on the 5 steps I listed above. Start your day wise, be disciplined and you'd be handsomely rewarded for those mental reserves you've spent - and saved. 

Now, if you'll please excuse me, I'd like to go get my additional readings done!